Permited to leave :-D

A couple of days to catch up on now that I can get out and about a little more. Thursday I went over the bridge again to the mall. I bought a bracelet which caught my eye, and is rather unusual. I also bought a hair clip just because it had a butterfly on it. I've always thought my life was similar to a butterfly, in that for 28 years I've been in a chrysalis feeling depressed, suppressed, and unable to do anything about it. Now it's time to hatch out as the beautiful butterfly I was always meant to be.

Friday I spent some time in the clinic just chatting to the other girls that are here. I also had a check up again with Dr Suporn. I was dreading this check up, as last time I saw him he said I may need some more stitches where some necrosis (dead skin) had appeared. He was concerned that the new skin that was growing underneath the patch of necrosis, was not going to graft onto the labia. I was really worried about having this done.

Anyway, during the check up he gave nothing but good news. I didn't need the stitches, as the necrosis has reduced considerably and he could see that it had healed well. He told me I no longer needed to use the Bitadene on the stitches on the outside of the vagina. Which is great as it stains everything, even your skin. He said I could have a bath, but not too hot and not for very long. To hear that was just fantastic, I miss my weekly soak in the bath. I will wait until I get home though, as the water here isn't very clean. I can now also use my normal shower gel to clean the vaginal area. Finally the best thing he told me, which made me feel quite emotional, was that he was happy for me to go home. I just have one final check up on Tuesday, then we'll leave here on Thursday. Can't wait!!

Today I've been for a longish walk, the same that I did a couple of days back. This time I found the mall, which is bigger than the one nearest the clinic. It has nothing of any real interest in it though, unless you want a mobile phone or accessories for one. There must have been thousands of mobile phones on display, I can only describe it as 'a sea of mobile phones'. I also wondered down a side street, there were some interesting shops but still nothing of any real interest. Lets face it, Chonburi is crap for shopping and it's only famous for one thing. ;-)
Walking here isn't a problem and I always feel safe, even when alone. The people are generally very friendly and always smiling. You do get starred at alot, but only because you're a westerner. I have had a couple of comments on the street like; "hello madame, very beautiful" while pointing at my hair. I guess they don't see many blonde girls.

A days holiday

I had a great day yesterday at Dr Suporn's beach house and the Chinese temple. I was amazed at how colourful the temple was, a truly fantastic place to visit. I managed to get some sunbathing in at the beach house and subsequently have added to my tan lines. A lot of time was spent in the shade as the heat again was just too much. Plenty of talking with the other girls went on, and exchanging experiences was enlightening. There was also an indoor swimming pool for those not there for surgery.

On getting back to the hotel I ordered room service as I was shattered, and after eating it was time for my evening dilation. It was possibly my worst dilation so far, not due to pain or discomfort but I think due to several other factors. I could not get to my depth no matter how hard I tried and after an hour I just gave up, feeling very frustrated. The factors I think that interfered with the routine were: I was tired, I wasn't relaxed, I was sore, I was hot and I was feeling quite alone. So I had a shower, cleaned up and got into bed and cried myself to sleep.

This morning when I woke up at 7.30am, I wasn't looking forward to dilating. I tried to relax myself first so started at 8am. Sure enough, dilation was no problem this morning, although getting to depth still seems to take me a good half hour. I did make sure I had plenty of lubrication this time too, as I was sure that may also be contributing factor to last nights lack of success. I can't wait to get back home and buy some water based lubricant, as I'm certain this will make dilation so much easier.

Today I'm taking it easy, just sitting out on the terrace with my laptop and DS. I may take a walk across the bridge to the mall later, after my afternoon session.

Well, sorry guys and girls but we're back onto dilation again today, as I've had to slightly adjust my dilation routine. I now have to get to my depth with the medium dilator, which is now taking about 30-40 minutes, then continue with dynamic dilation for another 15 minutes. Once this is done, I remove the medium dilator and repeat the process with the larger dilator. Thankfully, I don't have to get this one to full depth. Dr Suporn said anything past 4 inches is fine. Looking at the large dilator always frightened me, and I always maintained that 'that thing is not going to fit inside me'! Well I have to say I was supprised. It slides in with no problem and doesn't cause me any pain or discomfort. I am still very sore down there, and I have had to reduce my walking pace slightly. I have another check up later today, so will see what Dr Suporn has to say this time. I have still only regained that quarter of an inch, and keeping that is really hard work.

Yesturday, I managed to get out a little more and ventured across the road to the shopping mall. I didn't do the bridge, although I thought I probably could if I wanted to. We crossed the busy main road, which has 3 lanes in both dirrections and traffic is unpredictable. It took us about 15 minutes to get a gap big enough to toddle over. It felt great to have that little bit of extra freedom. The mall is air conditioned, and we had a good look round on 3 out of 4 floors before I had to sit down and have a drink. I knew at this point I needed to head back to the clinic, where I could have a rest. On the way back I wanted to try the bridge, I felt ready for it. I took each step very slowly and gently lifted one leg at a time onto the next step. I had to have a rest at the top, due to the heat more than anything, but otherwise didn't have a problem. It probably took about the same amount of time as crossing the busy road, but it was the sence of achievement that mattered to me. Sure enough, when we got to the clinic I had a lay down on the sofa and a glass of cold water was given to me. After 30 minutes or so, I was ready to head back to the hotel to start my afternoon dilation.

We also had some lunch, then I wanted to work on my tan so we headed off to a hotel down the road that has a roof top swimming pool. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to swim after the operation but I only wanted to sunbath anyway. It was 3pm and the heat was still really hot, and I managed to lay there for 30 minutes before I was just too hot.

Something different

I'm not going to talk about dilation today, as it's still sore. I have got a little closer to gaining that 1/2 inch back though.

I thought I'd give my feelings on post op rest, and how important I think that is. Let me first say that I have not yet, touch wood, woke up in a pool of blood or had any other nasty shocks. 'Pool of blood' is how a girl here described how she woke up (2 weeks post op) in the middle of the night. When I questioned what she had done that day, she replied 'I did the bridge'. For those that don't know, the bridge is a footbridge just outside the clinic, used to cross the road. I know alot of girls say the bridge is something you have to do before you leave, but 2 weeks post op is just too soon! On delving further into the conversation we had, I discovered she was drying between her toes after showering. Again, this just puts too much strain on the wound. I am now nearly three weeks post op, and I can only just dry the bottoms of my legs. It seems alot of girls here seem to think they are ready to get back to a normal life, when clearly they arn't. Listern to the people that know. There advice is given with good reason.

The only other thing I will say about today, is that I have a craving for Cornetto's. I've had five today, and I've sent Dell out to restock the freezer.

Dilation, now 3 times a day

Well, this morning I got up feeling fantastic for a change. I did my morning dilation routine and had my breakfast. I did my makeup and went out feeling great. I went down to the clinic as there's free internet access, and did some work. I had another check up with Dr Suporn today too. He did another internal inspection, and checked my vulva, labia and clitoris again. All was fine. He asked me about the depth I was getting during dilation and when I told him I had lost half an inch, he said it was too soon to loose any depth, and I now need to dilate three times a day to try to get the original depth back. He told me I need to apply continuous pressure when I get to my full depth, and while gyrating the dilator.

When I left I was feeling a little down to be honest, as dilating twice a day is hard enough. None the less, I went back to the hotel to do an afternoon 'session'. I got to the depth, and applied the technique Dr Suporn told me about. I was sceptical as to whether or not this was going to work, but sure enough, I gave it a try. I did it over 15 minutes, as told to, and was surprised when I had now regained a quarter of an inch. When doing my evening dilation, I was also able to regain the extra quarter of an inch. I know it doesn't sound a lot, but it's half way to regaining the depth I had lost. So I'm hoping, with continued use of this technique, I can get back to my original depth.

The next week

I've decided to summarise the first week in the hotel as it's not worthy of me writing about each day. Simply because each day was the same, except that my strength, slowly came back as each day passed. I will describe here though, some of the simplest tasks that I found I just could not do.

It was not possible to bend down to pick things up off the floor. Things like this happen in everyday life and you take it for granted so much, that you just don't realise how often you need to pick things up. Putting my knickers on in the first week was also impossible. I had to get Dell to help me get them past my knees before I could reach them to pull them up. Getting in the shower on my own. Not because I couldn't climb in, but because I just wasn't steady on my feet and still quite weak. I couldn't stand in the shower for more than a couple of minutes without feeling dizzy, so sitting in the bath holding the shower head was the only way to shower. Leaving the hotel room was a very tiring task, although it was possible.

On the Wednesday, I made it to the terrace, which is about 15 metres from my room. I sat out for 10 minutes before the heat got to me and I soon became tired from doing this simple thing. It was good for me that I managed it, as the hotel room soon becomes a very boring place to be 100% of your time.

On the Thursday, I was still feeling very tired, but was required to go to a seminar on post op care at the Suporn clinic. This was to be my first time outside of the hotel. I was keen to walk slowly and Dell had the bottle of water to hand should I need it. The walk to the clinic I would say was about 200 yards, and when I got there I was exhausted and out of breath. I was offered a glass of water and a comfy seat. A good 30 minutes later and I was back to being 'just tired'. I should probably mention about sitting now, something that without my 'donut', would be very unpleasant. The donut, is a small round cushion with a hole in the centre so that when ones bum is sat on it no pressure is applied to the 'wound'. The seminar lasted 5 hours and by this time I was exhausted. I had to lay down on one of the sofas in the clinic and rest for an hour before I wanted to start the walk back. I also had my first check up with Dr Suporn. His assistant removed some stitches that were loose and he confirmed everything is healing well.

Friday was spent just being lazy and I didn't leave the hotel room. I spent most of the day sleeping as I'm a great believer in listening to your body. If it says your tired, you sleep. If it says you can't bend down, don't bend down.

Saturday, valentines day, I was feeling a little more energetic but knew I still needed to take things slow. Valentine's was the last thing on my mind to be honest, but the card and gift's I got from Selena went a long way to cheering me up. Today was the first day I had felt up to eating in the hotel restaurant, so forgetting it was valentines day, we went to eat. I didn't bother with any makeup, in fact I haven't while I have been here because you have much higher priorities. No one cares if you look crap!

So there we were, sat in the restaurant, in the middle of all the loved up couples, looking 'unfinished', tired, and uncomfortable. The donut enabled me to sit with minimal discomfort, but that said, it was still uncomfortable. The chairs in the restaurant where not upright so sitting slightly slanted was the only option. I could not sit up without resting my back, it's just not comfortable. It was therefore hard to eat anything without it dropping on my lap. Something I found both annoying and frustrating. After a couple of days, I learned that there is something under the table that I can grab onto, to pull myself forward to eat over my plate. After dinner I was relieved once again, to be back on my bed. The only thing is, when you get to this point, so glad to be lay resting... you have to remember it's now time to dilate, so another 2 hours work to put in. After dilating I decided to open the bag that mum and dad gave be before leaving the UK. I was supposed to open it in the hospital but I just wanted to sleep there and get on with my recovery. In the bag was lots of little things, to cheer me up when I was feeling down. The tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. So much effort had gone into putting these little things together. I was really missing my mum and dad so much! One of the things in the bag was a cuddly toy, a giraffe, that I aptly named 'G'. He sits on my tummy when I'm dilating as no matter what pain I'm in, he's always smiling.

Sunday was my day of rest. Yes, another one, I need them at the moment. I did make it out to the terrace again with my laptop. The heat is getting more bearable now that I have the energy coming back. Not much else to report.

Monday, and I'm now two weeks post op. Alot of the redness has reduced, as has the swelling. Everything was feeling pretty damn sore today. I did my routine and went to the clinic for another checkup in the afternoon. This time it was an internal inspection, and Dr Suporn inserted a see through tube into my vagina. With the aid of a small mirror, he showed me my vaginal wall and pointed out that it was pink like a natal female. He also checked my vulva, labia and clitoris, all of which were looking very good. He said I was ready to start Dynamic Dilation now, which is great as you only have to dilate for 15 minutes. However, there is a down side... It will become very painful during months 2 and 3 as at this point scare tissue will try to contract, reducing the width of the vaginal opening should it not be stretched.

Tuesday morning came and I lay there for an hour, thinking about starting the dynamic dilation. I worried a little about this, but eventually, got my things together and made a start. Let me first explain that it is not a case of 15 minutes and off we go to breakfast. 15 minutes is the length of time you have to do the dynamic dilation for. This doesn't include any preparation, getting to your depth or any cleaning up. I think at this stage, getting to my depth is the hardest part. On entry, there are usually a couple of nightmare stitches that cause great unease to say the least. Once I'm pasted the first 3 inches, things go relatively easy. Until the last inch! To get to the last inch can take about 10 minutes and then the last inch will take at least 5 minutes, if not 10 minutes, of applying pressure, then releasing and re-applying pressure. Once I'm at depth, I have to withdraw an inch, and then gyrate the dilator slowly. This will stretch the scar tissue that will form and start to contract. I have to say, that as I haven't reached the 2 month stage yet, the dynamic dilation is not painful or uncomfortable. In fact, it is quite pleasing as I feel more involved and I'm certainly making good use of the reduced time.

Leaving the hospital

Monday morning I was woken up by Dr Suporn at 6am to have my internal packing and catheter removed. He assured me it wouldn't hurt and I was feeling fairly relaxed anyway. He started to pull what I can only describe as a 'ribbon' from inside me. It seemed endless and I lay there thinking it must be the end soon, but it kept coming. When it finally ended, Dr Suporn said he was going to remove the catheter. I'd heard mixed reactions about whether or not this hurt. He removed the bag and inserted a syringe into the tube. Its contents was to lubricate my urinary tract to make removing the catheter easier, and when he squeezed it in, it gave a pleasant feeling. Then he pulled the catheter from within me and much the same feeling was achieved. Next it was time for him to show me how to dilate. I wasn't looking forward to this at all. He told me the depth that he had achieved in surgery (sorry, that's for me only), and placed a condom on the dilator. It was then covered in KY jelly for lubrication and I was told to sit up at 45 degrees and relax my tummy muscles. I did what I was told and just relaxed, it slid in really easily. I guess that's to be expected as it's been held 'open' for a week. Either that, or he's done this before me thinks lol.

I was left to rest for another hour and the nurses came once again. I had to drink lots of water now that the catheter had been removed. I was told about 3 hours would fill the bladder and that as soon as I went for a "pee pee", I could leave the hospital. So I drank.... and I drank.... and I drank. Sure enough, about 3 hours later I was feeling ready for a wee. I pressed the buzzer for the nurse and as usual, they came within a few seconds. "You pee pee", they asked. "Yeah, pee pee", I replied. Again, the routine of getting off the bed started and I toddled off the toilet. I sat there, nothing new, but this newly re-arranged part of my body doesn't have a drivers manual. So I sat there, and sat there... I turned the tap on to see if that helped, but still I sat there. My next plan was to think of Wales. I know how odd that sounds, but in the past when I've had trouble peeing, I've always thought of Dolgoch Falls in Wales. So I sat there imagining all that water flowing and the sound that it makes, and also the peacefulness of the area. I was totally relaxed. I must have been on the toilet for about 10 minutes at this point and my bladder felt like it was about to burst. The nurse then poked her head round the door and said, "no pee pee?" I told her I needed to go but I hadn't yet, and off she went. She came back with an icepack wrapped in a flannel and it was placed onto my bladder. I held it there and it soon started to flow. The relief I felt was just fantastic and at the same time I was peeing like a girl for the first time. To just have it 'trickle' rather than 'blast' was a truly wonderful feeling for me, one that made me feel feminine again after being here for a week in an almost 'drab' mode. Then it was back to the bed for a lie down.

I sat there thinking, thank god, I can finally go back to the hotel. Well that's what I thought... I had drank so much water, which wasn't a bad thing, that I had to get up and 'pee pee' 4 more times before I was actually ready to leave. That done, my wheelchair arrived and I was pushed to the Suporn clinic minibus. It was quite a task getting back to the hotel, but I managed it easy enough. I think the key is to take things very slowly. I had a bottle of water on hand as the heat soon hits you. The air con in the minibus was on and I needed all the vents blasting onto me. I felt light headed and a little dizzy at times and it was such a relief to get onto my bed. Again, the exhaustion was back and so I slept. Jib came to my room at 4pm, to make sure I was ok with dilating on my own for the first time. There were questions I wanted to ask, and she was only too happy to answer them. We started, and she explained everything as we went along. It all went fairly easily but the hour seemed to take ages to pass.

When the hour had finally passed though, it was time to clean up. This in itself is very important and involves a few tasks. First, I take a syringe and using bottled water. Squirt 60ml into the vagina 3 times. On the fourth one, I take 50ml of water and 5ml of Betadene and squirt. This is always done while standing in the shower, to allow any lubricant, dead skin and free stitches to easily evacuate the vagina. I then clean the outside of the vagina with Hibiscrub and wash the rest of my body as normal. Its such a relief to get back to the bed and lie down, as the whole process from getting things together to getting back to the bed took about 2 hours. No surprise, I slept after room service delivered my spaghetti carbanara, which tasted truly fantastic in comparison to the hospital food.

Shower at last

Sunday morning the nurses arrived to help me to the shower once again. I was determined this time and I'd spent the morning drinking loads of the fizzy pop. The routine to my feet was the same as previously mentioned, although a little quicker. Off I toddle to the shower room, a nurse under each arm. I got there!! The was a chair in the shower with what can only be described as a 'tyre inner tube' on it. Simple, effective and comfortable. It was so exhilarating to be in the shower and using my own shower gel, shampoo and conditioner. After a few minutes, the nurses left me too it. I should mention here that I was told to clean my 'wound' with hibiscrub. It's important to not use any other soaps etc. as the chemicals in them can cause rashes or burns. Lets face it anyway, nothing is going to keep it infection free better than hibicrub. When I was finished I shouted a nurse. Two came, they haded me a towel and helped me back to my bed. I was then dried down and 'talc' powder was applied. I was once again exhausted, but the sense of achievement I had was immense. I couldn't wait for tomorrow, when my time to leave the hospital would finally arrive.

Learning to walk

Saturday morning soon came round and after breakfast, two nurses came in and said that I can take a shower. It was finally time to get out of bed. I was really looking forward to a shower as bed baths are just not the same. I was expecting to be a little weak on my feet and unsteady but I wasn't at all prepared for what the day had in store.


Getting to a point where my legs were dangling from the bed was not easy in itself, and it felt pretty damn sore to sit upright. Dell dragged the chair across so I had something to step onto first before getting to the floor. I couldn't even lift my legs by myself and I was looking at these two little Thai nurses and thinking to myself, "you are not going to be able to support me". This worried me and I'm sure hindered the process subconsciously. I did manage to get my feet on the floor, but through sheer exhaustion I passed out for a few seconds and these two little nurses got me back on the bed to lay down. I was told to rest and they said we'd try again in the afternoon when I felt up to it. I was so disappointed that I couldn't do it. I'm a great believer in "you ca do anything if you put your mind to it", so I felt very defeated and it really got me down.

I slept and tried to eat something for lunch. I wasn't keen on the hospital food so Dell suggested he goes out to find a shop that sold fizzy pop. I agreed I needed something high in sugar to give me the energy I needed. I must have drank a bottle and a half before the nurses returned. I was feeling more positive and concentrated on the reward of a shower, if I was to achieve it.

So we started again and the first stage was to get my feet onto the chair. I managed this with Dells strength to hold me upright at a not so sore point. I was then able to slide my bum off the bed so my feet were tiptoe on the floor. I was so near, yet it felt so far. One last try enabled me to get stood up, with the two nurses and Dell holding me upright. My legs felt like jelly and I was feeling dizzy. I knew I needed to take things very slowly if I was to get there and to get to this point must have taken me 15 minutes. I wasn't confident I would make it to the shower, but I did try. I was able to get half way before I felt I needed to go back. I did say I'd like to get into bed on the other side, so that I had to walk round to the other side first. Getting back into bed wasn't too difficult, just having to be careful to not sit directly upright. The nurses said it wasn't a problem that I couldn't get to the shower and that we can try again the following day. So, another bed bath it was.

I felt a little better knowing I had done better than the morning effort, and told myself "slowly, slowly, catchy monkey". :-D Saturday disappeared as quick as it arrived, exhausted but I managed to do some very mild leg exercises to keep blood flowing. I didn't want to wake in the morning and not get to the shower. My evening drugs arrived.... and sleep.

Friday 6th February 2009

Dr Suporn visited me at 7am to remove my nappy. This took no more than a couple of minutes, then I was soon back fast asleep. It was such a relief to have more freedom to move, as by this time I was fairly bored of hospital.

Nothing more to report from today.

The following few days.

Tuesday to Thursday was pretty much the same each day. One thing I hate when I'm not feeling 100% is the smell of food when I'm just not hungry. Food always seemed to come before we'd want it. Like lunch delivered at 11am and dinner at 4pm. I lost my apitite fairly easily due to this, so subsequently, didn't get my energy back quickly.

My strength was very week the first night, needing two nurses just to roll over in the night. The beds have handrails too, but still I couldn't pull myself over. Over the next two days though, I could turn myself with no problem. Dell was worth his weight in gold, a true friend who regardless of the hour of the day or night, tended to my every need. I was very tired and pretty ratty and he never complained once.

I know people are going to wonder about the pain or discomfort I was in at this time. Well, let me clear that up, there was simply none of either. I was only uncomfortable due the the matress on the bed having long outlived it's userable life. The amount of bums that had probably been in it, unable to move for a week, was undoubtably very high. I could only really feel my 'nappy', the bandage that was tightly taped like such, and the internal packing inside me. No pain or discomfort, just an awareness that it was there. Sleeping on my side was only comfortable after the first night, and could only be achieved with a pillow between my knees.

Drinking plenty of water was essential and the catheter proved itself very handy. The nurses were constanlty in and out empying the bag and supplying me with drugs. All I wanted to do was sleep. I wanted to email friends and family, to let them know all had gone well, but just didn't have the energy. Dell phoned my parents and emailed a few people for me.

Tube lights...

... beep ... ... beep ... ... beep ... ... beep ... ... , I can hear someone near me. I lay there for 30 minutes (so I'm told) in the recovery room. They monitor everything here, after any surgical procedure. It was quiet and peaceful and I felt relieved that it was all done. After a while, my oxygen mask was removed and I was wheeled back to my hospital room. Dell was there to greet me, although I had not totally come round yet and was fairly spaced out.
I remember the first thing I did when I was back on this planet was look at the clock. It was about 2.30pm. The operation took 6 hours and I had about 500 stitches. I then slept through to the next morning, only being woken at 10pm to take tablets.

Night before Christmas... I mean Surgery

Sunday 1st February 2009

At about 6pm, the anesthetist came to visit me, to introduce himself and find out some background information. He was very well spoken and polite, in his early 30's and seriously good looking. Yes, still my normal self pre-op lol. He asked me things like: Had I had any surgery before? What was my job, was it physical? Do I play sports? Any allergies? Reactions to any medications? With this out the way, he assured me everything will be fine and explained that I would be collected for surgery at 8am.

How I felt I can only describe as this: On Christmas eve when I was a kid, and I still had that 'Santas coming tonight' magical feeling, only with a little nervousness thrown in. I couldn't wait to wake up on the following afternoon, knowing that I had been given such a wonderful gift of surgery.

At about 8pm, a nurse came to my room to shave my genitals. I felt a little uncomfortable in having someone else do this, but in the great scheme of things it was nothing. It was then time to get some sleep, something I had no trouble doing thanks to some tablets given by the nurse.

Monday 2nd February 2009

My new birthday (don't think I'm forgetting the old one lol, I'll expect prezzies twice a year now) had finally arrived. I was woken up by the nurses at 6am and asked to shower. I was given Hibiscrub to thoroughly clean my genital area. Hibiscrub is a medical soap that surgeons use to 'scrub up' before surgery. This done, I was given a surgical gown to wear and got back into bed. The nurse then came to give me a tablet to calm my nerves.

8am arrived and again the nurses came, this time they brought a man to push the bed to theatre. I felt calm and relaxed at this point, then the bed was moving. The nervousness started to slightly increase and I can remember thinking "this is it" as tube light after tube light passed by. Then we stopped, some large doors where opened, and I was wheeled into the operating theatre. Nerves now more slightly increased.

In surgery, everyone in the theatre was completely covered up and all you see is lots of eyes starring at you. At this point a nurse called Dang introduced herself as Dr Suporns assistant. She reassured me and asked if I was ok. She noticed I was cold, and within a couple of seconds I had a warm silver foil blanket over me. Then I remember the anesthetist saying "hello Lucy, how are you". He again reassured me and said we are just waiting for Dr Suporn who will be a couple of minutes. He then said he was going to insert the needle into my hand, I didn't feel a thing and Dang kept me taking while he did it. I then felt my lower legs being bandaged up, this is to prevent DVT. Dang explained that two people will be massaging my legs the whole time for the same reason. Then Dr Suporn arrived and it was time. We exchanged pleasantries then the anesthetist asked if i was ready, I said yes. He said ok, we'll start now. I remember feeling quite light and the room going very quiet for a couple of seconds, then.....

Resting in hospital

Well, I'm here now, sitting up in my hospital bed. I have just met the anesthetist who seems really nice and is confident my test results indicate all will be ok. Not had the blood test results back yet though. As for the procedure of arriving at the hospital, it was very quick and straight forward. Cin arrived at the hotel to collect us at 12 noon, and we travelled to the hospital which only took about 5 minutes. I was a little nervous at this point and Cin was lovely, reassuring me that everything will be fine. She even held my hand! On arriving at the hospital, I was checked in and my blood pressure, weight and temperature was taken. All was fine. Then we quickly moved on to have a blood test, X-ray and ECG. The whole process from leaving the hotel, to sitting relaxing in my room took less than an hour.

The view from the hospital room balcony is great and we get the sun of an afternoon.

I'm feeling very relaxed at the moment, and the anesthetist said they can give me some tablets to calm my nerves in the morning if I want them. I think I will have them as I'm sure, in the morning, I won't be so relaxed.

Arriving in Thailand

Friday 30th January

As I've not been able to get online since leaving Heathrow, I better start by saying a little about my journey to the other side of the world. We travelled by Eva Air and I paid for the Elite class seats, so we got extra leg room, reclining seats, complimentary drinks, better meals, and a blanket and pillow. The staff during the flight were Thai and spoke very good English, nothing was too much trouble. I managed to sleep on and off for most of the flight (12 hours, 6225 miles) and didn’t once find myself board.

On arriving in Bangkok, we quickly passed through immigration and customs and went to the meeting point where one of Dr Suporns staff would meet us. Sure enough, Kim was waiting and took us to our car. The first thing we noticed was how humid it is here, and it was just over 30 degrees, not bad for winter. The journey back to Chonburi took about an hour and it was fantastic just being able to take in all the scenery. During the drive, Kim discussed with me what would be happening over the next couple of days and gave me my appointment card.

We checked into the hotel and Kim showed us where Dr Suporn’s clinic was as I had to be there in the morning for my consultation. I was a little nervous about this, as there’s always a silly fear in the back of your mind saying “what if he can’t”. After leaving Kim, we went to have a quick look around Chonburi and then back to the hotel for a drink. Dell bought 2 beers and a bottle of water for 120baht, that’s about £2.25. Lucky I can’t drink at the moment me thinks!! :-D

At about 7pm, we were feeling very tired so went back to our room for a lie down. Had no problem sleeping but woke up at midnight feeling very awake.

Saturday 31st January

Got up at 6am, just because I wasn’t tired, and had a shower and got ready. Went down and had breakfast, which was nice, but I can imagine getting sick of the same food after 5 weeks here. It was then time for my appointment with Dr Suporn and I was by this time feeling more nervous. Bo was there, who speeks exceptional English, to welcome me and sit with me to fill out the paperwork. She also gave me my “Thai Boyfriends” (see picture) for later use, post surgery.

I then went in for my consultation and to meet Dr Suporn for the first time. Bo kept me company while we waited a short time for him to arrive, and we chatted about the UK as she has never been. When Dr Suporn arrived, I was examined (which only took a few seconds) and he said that I had very good skin tissue and plenty to use. He also went through all the risks and I signed the consent form. I will be admitted to hospital at midday on Sunday.

Just chilling out now in the hotel room, trying to relax as best I can.

A pre-Thailand gathering of thought and feelings

Right, not posted anything since early December and how time has just flown by. I have decided to delete my previous posts and use this blog to document my journey into to womanhood and my experiences, both good and bad, of surgery and Thailand. I have been off hormones since Monday (4 days), so I thought I'd write a little about how that has effected me.

To be honest, I haven't noticed a massive change yet. Maybe I have the worst to come over the next few weeks, I don't know. I did have a cry the other morning, but then that could be put down to just being a little worried about the next few months ahead.

For the past couple of weeks I've been feeling really excited about the surgery and I'm walking round with the biggest grin on my face. For the last six months I've been going over it in my head, wondering, worrying and wanting... Only confirming that I needed to make the decision of surgery, and that Dr Suporn** is the best choice for me. (** In my opinion - Insert politically correct shit here).

So watch this space... I plan to write every day that I am in Thailand, subject to feeling up to it.