Thursday, 19 February 2009

The next week

I've decided to summarise the first week in the hotel as it's not worthy of me writing about each day. Simply because each day was the same, except that my strength, slowly came back as each day passed. I will describe here though, some of the simplest tasks that I found I just could not do.

It was not possible to bend down to pick things up off the floor. Things like this happen in everyday life and you take it for granted so much, that you just don't realise how often you need to pick things up. Putting my knickers on in the first week was also impossible. I had to get Dell to help me get them past my knees before I could reach them to pull them up. Getting in the shower on my own. Not because I couldn't climb in, but because I just wasn't steady on my feet and still quite weak. I couldn't stand in the shower for more than a couple of minutes without feeling dizzy, so sitting in the bath holding the shower head was the only way to shower. Leaving the hotel room was a very tiring task, although it was possible.

On the Wednesday, I made it to the terrace, which is about 15 metres from my room. I sat out for 10 minutes before the heat got to me and I soon became tired from doing this simple thing. It was good for me that I managed it, as the hotel room soon becomes a very boring place to be 100% of your time.

On the Thursday, I was still feeling very tired, but was required to go to a seminar on post op care at the Suporn clinic. This was to be my first time outside of the hotel. I was keen to walk slowly and Dell had the bottle of water to hand should I need it. The walk to the clinic I would say was about 200 yards, and when I got there I was exhausted and out of breath. I was offered a glass of water and a comfy seat. A good 30 minutes later and I was back to being 'just tired'. I should probably mention about sitting now, something that without my 'donut', would be very unpleasant. The donut, is a small round cushion with a hole in the centre so that when ones bum is sat on it no pressure is applied to the 'wound'. The seminar lasted 5 hours and by this time I was exhausted. I had to lay down on one of the sofas in the clinic and rest for an hour before I wanted to start the walk back. I also had my first check up with Dr Suporn. His assistant removed some stitches that were loose and he confirmed everything is healing well.

Friday was spent just being lazy and I didn't leave the hotel room. I spent most of the day sleeping as I'm a great believer in listening to your body. If it says your tired, you sleep. If it says you can't bend down, don't bend down.

Saturday, valentines day, I was feeling a little more energetic but knew I still needed to take things slow. Valentine's was the last thing on my mind to be honest, but the card and gift's I got from Selena went a long way to cheering me up. Today was the first day I had felt up to eating in the hotel restaurant, so forgetting it was valentines day, we went to eat. I didn't bother with any makeup, in fact I haven't while I have been here because you have much higher priorities. No one cares if you look crap!

So there we were, sat in the restaurant, in the middle of all the loved up couples, looking 'unfinished', tired, and uncomfortable. The donut enabled me to sit with minimal discomfort, but that said, it was still uncomfortable. The chairs in the restaurant where not upright so sitting slightly slanted was the only option. I could not sit up without resting my back, it's just not comfortable. It was therefore hard to eat anything without it dropping on my lap. Something I found both annoying and frustrating. After a couple of days, I learned that there is something under the table that I can grab onto, to pull myself forward to eat over my plate. After dinner I was relieved once again, to be back on my bed. The only thing is, when you get to this point, so glad to be lay resting... you have to remember it's now time to dilate, so another 2 hours work to put in. After dilating I decided to open the bag that mum and dad gave be before leaving the UK. I was supposed to open it in the hospital but I just wanted to sleep there and get on with my recovery. In the bag was lots of little things, to cheer me up when I was feeling down. The tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. So much effort had gone into putting these little things together. I was really missing my mum and dad so much! One of the things in the bag was a cuddly toy, a giraffe, that I aptly named 'G'. He sits on my tummy when I'm dilating as no matter what pain I'm in, he's always smiling.

Sunday was my day of rest. Yes, another one, I need them at the moment. I did make it out to the terrace again with my laptop. The heat is getting more bearable now that I have the energy coming back. Not much else to report.

Monday, and I'm now two weeks post op. Alot of the redness has reduced, as has the swelling. Everything was feeling pretty damn sore today. I did my routine and went to the clinic for another checkup in the afternoon. This time it was an internal inspection, and Dr Suporn inserted a see through tube into my vagina. With the aid of a small mirror, he showed me my vaginal wall and pointed out that it was pink like a natal female. He also checked my vulva, labia and clitoris, all of which were looking very good. He said I was ready to start Dynamic Dilation now, which is great as you only have to dilate for 15 minutes. However, there is a down side... It will become very painful during months 2 and 3 as at this point scare tissue will try to contract, reducing the width of the vaginal opening should it not be stretched.

Tuesday morning came and I lay there for an hour, thinking about starting the dynamic dilation. I worried a little about this, but eventually, got my things together and made a start. Let me first explain that it is not a case of 15 minutes and off we go to breakfast. 15 minutes is the length of time you have to do the dynamic dilation for. This doesn't include any preparation, getting to your depth or any cleaning up. I think at this stage, getting to my depth is the hardest part. On entry, there are usually a couple of nightmare stitches that cause great unease to say the least. Once I'm pasted the first 3 inches, things go relatively easy. Until the last inch! To get to the last inch can take about 10 minutes and then the last inch will take at least 5 minutes, if not 10 minutes, of applying pressure, then releasing and re-applying pressure. Once I'm at depth, I have to withdraw an inch, and then gyrate the dilator slowly. This will stretch the scar tissue that will form and start to contract. I have to say, that as I haven't reached the 2 month stage yet, the dynamic dilation is not painful or uncomfortable. In fact, it is quite pleasing as I feel more involved and I'm certainly making good use of the reduced time.
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